the newts.net

The one, the only…

Beetle Bonnet!

Update on the Beetle Bonnet pic.

No, more simply put…

“THE THE THE
STRUGGLE
AGAINST
IDEALOGICAL
EXTREMISTS
WHO DO NOT
BELIEVE IN
FREE SOCIETIES
WHO HAPPEN TO
USE TERROR AS A
WEAPON TO TRY
TO SHAPE THE
CONSCIENCE OF
THE FREE WORLD.”

This is rather good and superbly done. Download it and take a look…

War Rap — > [17.46 MB .wmv file]

A train hits a busload of Essex Schoolgirls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.
St Peter asks the first girl (from Southend), “Karen, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?”

She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger”

St. Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

St. Peter asks the next girl (from Chelmsford) the same question, “Joanne have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?”

The girl is a little reluctant but replies “Well once I fondled and stroked one.”
St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and the girl from Romford is pushing her way to the front of the line.
When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says “Tracy! What seems to be the rush?”

The girl replies… “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy water… I want to do it before Lorraine sticks her arse in it!!”

There’s a few nasty bots out there that are spamming Wordpress Blogs like mine with hundreds and hundreds of spam comments in to just about every post on the site. The usual shit, links to online pharmacies selling viagra and cialis, and the biggest culprit, hundreds of comments with links to the same online poker sites.

To combat this I’ve been running a program that automatically checks every comment posted and gives it a ‘Karma’ or score, dependent on various factors within the post. A bad score or bad Karma results in the comments being instantly deleted. So far this has taken care of all spam, but has also captured and killed a few genuine comments as well. Not good, but better than having to delete hundreds of spam messages every day - A serious headache. This is the reason that your comments have not been appearing on the site the moment you post them, but have only appeared when moderated.

Now I’ve found a new method to combat the dreaded comment spam using a randomly generated code within an image that can’t be read by bots or any other form of automated spammer. It now means that when you post a comment you have to enter the code correctly to get your comment on the site, but your comment will appear as soon as you post it and hopefully, just fingers crossed hopefully, this will be the end to the spam problem. Well for a while at least!

Enter the magic number correctly and your comments will appear instantly!

There is one sure fire way to ensure that your comments are always posted. That is to register on the newts.net. Registered users benefit from certain privilages including automatic comment approval. You can register here.

Whatever next? It brings a new meaning to MAKE LOVE NOT WAR…

The US military investigated building a “gay bomb”, which would make enemy soldiers “sexually irresistible” to each other, government papers say.

Read More.

I’m afraid the old pocket rockets ah ad
were the downfall of Bov “The Trout Fish” Oliver tonight.

Cruelly thrown by the wayside by newts “the call” newton. who was on fire making inspired calls with what must have been divine intervention.

Now this is what I call 4 wheel drive!

Don’t be trying this in your Fiat Uno of a Sunday afternoon!

4 Wheel Drive Buggy —> [1.33 MB .wmv file]

What on earth is going on here? Is it me or are they building one huge mofo robot here?

Look at the 2 men and the van in the centre right of the picture to get an idea of the size of this thing. Surely it can’t be for a film or anything like that, they could just use computer animted special effects and the like. So what the hell is this thing? If anyone has any ideas I’d love to hear them. Ta.

UPDATE:
4 1/2 years on from this post I came across this BBC story recently.  I wonder if they are one and the same!?!

I’ve been really busy just lately so it’s a case of catch up now. A few special moments from Ben’s 2nd Christmas:

Hover over the icons to see a description - Click on the icons to see the BIG picture.

Remember when I brought you Paper Toss?

Well now there’s a new one. Maybe not quite as ’sexy’ as PT but simpler and fun all the same.

Paper Toss II —> [210 KB .swf file]

Oh deary me. Not what you wanna be seeing as you soar high over your first dirt ramp!

Looks like one of Wez’s engineering projects! Either that or an FCR install.

The joys of the office party!

I did make an offer to buy the puppy with the pink nose - but it’s not for sale apparently :0)

Spare a thought for those who are homeless and hungry this new year’s eve.

Then raise a glass with your friends and family and celebrate the small mercies.

Have fun, peace to you all. newts.