the newts.net

Found this really nice little desktop guitar tuner tonight. Not a lot of use if you snap a top E string live on stage, but really handy when you’re sat infront of your pc with your guitar to hand.

Download the guitar tuner from the Media Library.

It’s a .rar compressed flash file. If you don’t have .rar decompressing software you can download it for free here.

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This is wonderful, pure hilarity and fantastically done too. You’ll be well familiar with the groundbraking original advert for the Citroen C4. Then came this wonderful spoof version featuring the Citroen 2CV. Well now the dancing car parts are replaced with rashers of Danish bacon, mushrooms, tomatoes, sausages, toast and a fried egg!

Click on the picture to see the 2.6MB streamed version in the newts Media Library,

Or download the 4.23MB Hi-Fi version to your computer for keeps.
right click —> save target as.

found by Trish.

Popularity: 5% [?]

OH MY GOD! I’m really gob smacked about this one. It’s like 8 escapees from the local asylum singing Tina Turners ‘Simply The Best’. And don’t take my word for it when I tell you it’s the worst singing you are ever likely to hear if you lived your life 10 times over, check it out for yourself and see. But what makes this truly amazing is that these 8 tone deaf nutters aren’t sat at home singing to the karaoke, they’re not even in the local youthie entertaining class 4b, no some bright spark in upper management with a killer sense of humour had the foresight to get these dudes to stand in the middle of a football pitch at half time and sing live to 50,000 people. In-fcuking-credible!

Check the guy pictured above with the teeth. HE GOT DA MOVES :0)

This’ll brighten up your day…

Simply The Best —> Streamed from the Media Library.

Popularity: 3% [?]

In one’s ceaseless search for attaining the perfect golf swing, there’s a hive of information out there on the net. I’m not overly concerned about perfection just yet, I just want to hit straight consistently. So it’s helpful to look at video of good golfer’s swings and compare that to what my swing looks like to try and find areas to improve on. While searching for such videos I came across this. I love it, it’s hilarious. And I’m definitely going to master THAT swing as a party piece. Take a look for yourself, I’m still laughing now!

Click the pic to watch it from the Media Library.

Popularity: 3% [?]

I’ve seen a few mini clips of this video in the news just recently, but have only just got hold of the full uncut version. It’s really well done and the main dude is a right ringer for Peter Kay. Have yersen a little look see.

Watch the Army Amarillo vid in the Media Library.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Remember this fab advert?

Well now take a look at this very well done spoof advert
featuring the old Citroen 2CV.

2CV —> [2.79MB .wmv file]

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An incredible little bit of underwater filming of an octopus camouflaging itself against some vegetation. Looks even more incredible when they run the film in slow motion backwards.

This little download is definitely worth 48 seconds of your time.

Octopus — > [2.91MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 2% [?]

It’s been a while but can you remember Rodney Carrington’s
Dear Penis song and animation?
Well I was surfing today when I came across this funny little song and I thought to myself I recognise that voice. Another little gem from Rodney Carrington…

Not the Curling Iron —> [2.3MB .wmv file]

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Well that means it must be about a year since I posted this, so to commemorate the occasion I have been requested to re-post this little gem I made last year featuring Animal Rights Protester WEZ and a hungry Tiger.

Circus Wez —> [207KB .swf file]

It’s only 207KB, small fry for the newts.net, so you may as well just left click and play it. If you want to keep a copy on tour desktop though you’ll need to right click the link and save target to desktop.

Popularity: 2% [?]

No, more simply put…

“THE THE THE
STRUGGLE
AGAINST
IDEALOGICAL
EXTREMISTS
WHO DO NOT
BELIEVE IN
FREE SOCIETIES
WHO HAPPEN TO
USE TERROR AS A
WEAPON TO TRY
TO SHAPE THE
CONSCIENCE OF
THE FREE WORLD.”

This is rather good and superbly done. Download it and take a look…

War Rap — > [17.46 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Now this is what I call 4 wheel drive!

Don’t be trying this in your Fiat Uno of a Sunday afternoon!

4 Wheel Drive Buggy —> [1.33 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 2% [?]

A little on the same theme as the cool Dragon Illusion, here’s a similar kind of thing with a model of a human face.

Face Optical Illusion —> [3.78 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Remember Alan Szabo and his amazing radio controlled helicopter stunts? I hope you’ve seen the video, if not you’ll find it here.

If you have seen it, it’s time to check this little guy out. Watch with amazement as he delicately and deftly flips and spins this little radio controlled plane around a room the size of a garage. Fantastic skill and control, it’s like a mini Alan Szabo but with a plane!

Indoor Radio Controlled Plane —> [8.91 MB .wmv file]

And while we’re on the Radio Controlled subject

Have yourself a look at this flying lawn mower. God only knows how it flies!
Flying Lawn Mower —> [9.59 MB .wmv file]

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Further to the amazing table football tricks you’ll find in this post, check out this guy. He’s pretty damn good!

Table Football Tricks —> [2.08 MB .wmv file]

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The Lads of South Parade have had a trip across to Leeds to record their song Northern Soul in a professional recording studio. It’s quite strange to hear a song that I’ve heard so many times live – mixed down in a studio and professionally recorded. You know, things usually work the other way round. You hear a band’s recording and THEN go to see them live!

It’s turned out great. Oli and the band took a load of pictures during the recording so I made them into a montage type video with over 50 pics of James, Tim, Shaun & Oli in the recording studio to accompany the soundtrack.

So more free music downloads for you to enjoy…

Just the song [4.93 MB .mp3 file]
South Parade – Northern Soul

The full video [23.2 MB .wmv file]
Download link

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Steve “Ol’ Slowhand” Newton’s latest outing with the Blues on Tap WOULD TOUR (yes would!), saw us down at the Charlton’s Club in Cleethorpes. Great night I must say. An appreciative and responsive crowd makes a big difference to a performers delivery, as do the ensuing ‘groupies’ to the ego!

So here’s another couple of Steve’s songs:

Hard Pill To Swallow —> [12.9 MB .wmv file]

And one he wrote himself:

Don’t Forget My Name —> [17.6 MB .wmv file]

Excellent.

And just as a little treat, how about a minute or two of John’s fast finger blues riffs. Not bad for a fat fingered fireman, see for yourself:

Guitar John from Blues On Tap —> [11.9 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 3% [?]

I’m glad I found this on the net, because if someone else hadn’t have captured it I was going to. It’s fantastic!

Enjoy at your leisure, the new…

Citroen C4 advert —> [2.27 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 2% [?]

Currently touring local blues nights and venues, our Steve’s opening the set with his solo acoustic blues for John and Andy known as Blues on Tap.

Andy (aka Mr. G) is a great singer, I’ve heard him several times before solo, but I was pleasantly impressed by John’s fast finger lead guitar blues. So impressed it was a shame he was playing to backing tracks. He’d sound great as part of several piece band like Mister Sister for example.

Their next gig is at the Charltons Club in Cleethorpes on Wednesday 1st December at 8:30pm. We’ll be taking a small entourage along for an hour or two of the blues before a night of swilling lager, shooting pool and probably an Indian at the Agrah. Who knows, it’s on a Wednesday night, it might even be a prelim to a night at the Bags Ball at the Wintergardens!

In the mean time, have a free download. This is Steve Newton and the 1951 Big Bill Broozny blues number Black, Brown and White.

Steve Newton – Black, Brown and White —> [14.1 MB .wmv file]

Popularity: 6% [?]

This is really cool. You’ll be watching it over and over again, and then the more adventurous and creative among you will be trying it out for yourselves.

First, download and watch the vid:

Dragon optical illusion —> [1.5 MB .wmv file]

Then download the template and build one for yourself:

I want one of them Dragon things!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Congratulations to Wez ‘Spielberg’ Brown…

…on his 3rd place in this year’s Meniscus Film Festival at our local independent cinema, the Whitgift Film Theatre. The theme of this year’s competition was “What on Earth”, and our Wesley produced a fact ridden public information style broadcast, the synopsis of which was our need to reduce waste and recycle more.
An exposition very close to his heart.

You can download Wez’s film here:
What On Earth —> [38MB .ram file]

And Wez’s 2003 competition entry under the theme of “Atmosphere” is available here:
Playback —> [40MB .ram file]

Popularity: 2% [?]