the newts.net

Another year older, another year uglier. So to celebrate Wez’s 30 something year in existance, we all went bowling yesterday. In short Toni won the 1st game, Gaz won the second game, and I came second in both with the highest aggregate score overall. Which was nice as earlier in the day, not only did I beat Gaz on his home golf course, I beat Willie for the first time too! Quality :0)

In Other News: There’s a couple of funny posts I’ve got pending but I can’t post them yet as they are to do with Wez’s present, which hasn’t arrived yet, so they’re gonna have to wait until he’s got it.

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We were kindly invited to by Terry & Steve Smith to their Saab golf day at Grimsby Golf Club this Friday 1st July. The format was pairs playing in fourballs with the the pairs adding their stableford scores together to get a team total. My fourball consisted of me paired with Garry and Bov was paired with Saab’s head of fleet sales Mark Scott.

We started off the 10th and for the first 9 holes Garry and I were playing solid and scoring steadily, but Bov was playing fantastic and was well ahead of us. It was only after a kiss of death meeting with Terry on the course that Bov’s game suddenly started to slide and we started to gain on him and Mark.

The hole to remember must be the our last, the 9th. A long par 3 on which you can have a steady swing with a driver. Gaz was first up and hit a pearler that ran right up the front of the green giving him a chance of a birdie two. I wasn’t far behind him just off the front edge of the green, with Bov and Mark needing to chip on from distance.

So with the chance of a 2 for 4 points on the final hole Gaz settled over his putt and confidently sank it. We ended up carding 61 points. A respectable total, but probably some way off the leaders. We were thinking close to 80 would be a winning score, and when we got back to the clubhouse there were rumours of a team in with 71 points. Still it was a wonderful days golf, and I probably played to my best standard yet, so I was more than happy not to be winning anything.

After a delicious meal and a free bar provided by Terry & Co. The prize giving ensued. A whole host of gorgeous prizes came and went for nearest the pin, longest drive, best lady, best man etc etc. Then came the overall. First the runners up were anounced with a combined score of 60 points. 60 points? Bov looked at me and said you’ve won it! No, that can’t be right. Someone’s got 70 odd there must be a mistake. Maybe that’s 3rd place and me and Gaz have come second. Then Terry anounced the winners as me and Garry. I was speechless. My first win and it was totally unexpected. We collected the marvelous Saab trophy to hold for a year, and a beautiful Waterford Crystal carriage clock each to keep.

A couple of bottles of champagne helped with the celebrations of my first ever golf trophy. One to remember for sure.

A debt of gratitude is owed to Gaz who played so well, especially when it mattered, and to Terry, Janet, Steve and Kate Smith along with their staff at Humberside Saab who hosted such a memorable and well executed day.

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A bit of a mixed batch on this post. Starting with this quality rainbow that I spotted the other day. It was a perfect semi circle and the colour was really vibrant against the dark background sky. I took the picture on my phone so it doesn’t quite do it justice but you get the idea. Reminded me of this very vibrant double rainbow I photographed at home last year.

Had the garden grass expert guy round the other day to give the old lawn a once over. He analysed the lawn, fed it and weed killed it. He then told me not to cut the grass too short. 1 inch minimum. I must say the lawn’s greened uplovely letting it grow that little bit longer, but today I couldn’t resist cutting just a little putting green for my golf flag :0) Which is where I’m off now. A quick game of golf with fellow beginner, Steve ‘the roof’ Courtney. (Rach’s Dad).

Couple of nice new additions to the site in the menu bar over there on the right are Random Pics and Last Commented Pics. Both pretty self explanitory, random pics can be clicked to take you to the BIG picture in the Media Library, as can Last Commented Pics which appear on the site when, yes you’ve guessed it, you leave a comment on any of the pictures in the media library.

And finally on the way home last night I heard on the car radio that the jury in old Wacko Jacko’s trial were ready to deliver their verdict. Rushed home, got the Sky News and…

NOT GUILTY on all 10 counts! or should that be

NOT PROVEN GUILTY on all 10 counts?

Any thoughts?

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In one’s ceaseless search for attaining the perfect golf swing, there’s a hive of information out there on the net. I’m not overly concerned about perfection just yet, I just want to hit straight consistently. So it’s helpful to look at video of good golfer’s swings and compare that to what my swing looks like to try and find areas to improve on. While searching for such videos I came across this. I love it, it’s hilarious. And I’m definitely going to master THAT swing as a party piece. Take a look for yourself, I’m still laughing now!

Click the pic to watch it from the Media Library.

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And the inaugural Newton Invitational Jug Golf competition.

So away the 10 of us went to the De Vere at Slaley Hall for an overnight jolly and a round of golf on the wonderful championship Hunting Course. Bov, Trace, Wez, Tones, Pete and Jackie were off early morning, and Me, Gaz, Rach & Suzi followed later on in the afternoon. Obviously Bov needed to get off early to fit his Burger King pit stops in. It’s nice to see all that hard work at the gym is paying dividends!

It’s a beautiful part of the country Northumberland, and Slaley Hall is equal to it’s surroundings. We met up in the bar, and had the snooker room all to ourselves where we shot a few frames and sank a few beers. A very relaxing start to a lovely weekend.

The evening meal was nice, nothing exceptional for the price we paid, but the service left a lot to be desired. And when we found out that they’d given Bov’s birthday cake to the wrong party then words had to be said. They were, and we received £150 off the bill. That at least went some way to easing the pain!

Next morning it was up bright and early ready for the days golfing action to find the weather was damp, wet and generally miserable. Such a shame as the previous day was glorious. Still we weren’t going to let it dampen the spirits so off onto the first tee we went.

Newts was towing his trolley, Pete was carrying, Gaz had his PowaCaddy and birthday Bov was in the privilaged position of being chauffeured around in the buggy by camera man Wez.

It’s a glorious championship course is Slaley, beautiful, but difficult with it. We were playing Stroke Play so every stroke counted and the results were as follows…

1st – Garry Ornsby – 101 gross – 84 nett.
2nd – Scott Newton – 115 gross – 87 nett.
3rd – Peter Clarke – 103 gross – 88 nett.
4th – Bov Oliver – 104 gross – 92 nett.

It was only a VERY close longest drive competition win for Bov that prevented Garry from achieving a clean sweep of all the medals and the coveted jug. Wez did score a prize for best supporting role as camera man and buggy driver, although the competition in that particular field was a little ‘thin’ to say the least!

A big thank you to Bov for organising, and subsidising to a large part, his own birthday bash. A wonderful weekend away with great friends. The rest of the golfing pictures can be found here.

And there’s some pics of the night do here.

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A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office. The man said to the
dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my
car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and
just pull the tooth and be done with it– I don’t have time to wait for
the anesthetic to work!

The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness–this sure is a very brave
man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the
doctor which tooth hurts.”

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…And the coveted First Class Refrigeration trophy. Played – Thurs 21st April 05

It was only by default that I got an entry into the NRGS society day at the lovely Garforth Golf Club near Leeds. Bov was penciled in for the tee off but was unable to attend so at Gaz’s request I filled in for him last minute.

The NRGS is a golf society of refrigeration engineers who host several competitions a year at various golf courses across the north of England. The competition was played over 9 holes in the morning and 18 in the afternoon, culminating in an evening meal and presentation.

My fourball included engineers Garry Ornsby and Brian Capindale, and guests Peter Clarke and myself. Running alongside the NRGS competition was an 18 hole competition for Gaz’s FCR trophy.

None of us were in the running for the NRGS trophy although Brian, his two sons Scott and Paul, and Gaz all won prizes for finishing lower down the order. As for Gaz’s FCR trophy…

Bov was the holder but was unable to defend his trophy, Brian Capindale won it with 32 points stableford playing off a 16 handicap. Pete Clarke was 2nd with 26 points stableford playing off 13 handicap. 3rd was Gaz with 24 points stableford playing off 14 and last (or 4th as I prefer to call it) was me with 22 points playing off 25.

A fabulous day out, we were blessed with the weather at this gorgeous course which was up until the morning we played closed due to waterlogging. The meal was exquisite and the company just above average ;0) I look forward to a period of practice and improvement before my next society invitation, although a muscle strain has led to a cancelled golf lesson and a laying up of the clubs for a few days. It won’t be long though before I’m back in action and getting in some practice ready for my impending defeating of Gaz!

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Today saw 8 Lincolnshire engineers take on 8 Yorkshire engineers at the Oaks Golf Complex in Aughton Nr. Market Weighton (North Yorkshire).
The day consisted of 9 holes stableford in the morning and 18 holes match play in the afternoon.
One of our team was unable to make it at last minute so after a little persuasion we managed to draft Pete Clarke in.
Brian Capindale and I managed to draw against 2 bandits playing off 24 & 28 so it was always going to be a close match with them having far too many shots. With Brian and I never being beaten in a match play event before we were positive and managed to win 2&1, Clarky and Paul Capindale won 3&2. A fantastic result for the lads allround and a great day was had by all.

Does anyone know of a shop that sells large trophy cabinets as mine is getting rather full!

Keep an eye on the site as next week is the First Class Trophy challenge at the Garforth Golf Club in Leeds (current holder is Mr Bov) .

Tomorrow sees the newts playing the best golf club in the area…. Grimsby Golf Club.
We’re only doing 9 holes so that Scott can ease his way back into it, but by all accounts I will be taking no prisoners as he has already beat Bov and Pete off scratch!!!!!!!!

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After a layoff of about 10 or so years I’ve decided to play a bit of golf again. With a little help from Wayne Melton at Louth Golf Centre by way of use of his indoor driving range and the vast selection of the latest clubs he has available to try, and after 2 days of intensive testing and several days of net research, I opted for the following weapons of choice:

Irons: Taylor Made RAC OS 2 Steel Shaft.
Reviews.

Driver: Ping G2
Reviews.

Fairway Woods: Taylor Made Rescue Mids.
Reviews.

Putter: Ping My Day.
(Kindly donated / on loan from Gaz.)

Never fantastic by any means I enjoyed a few good rounds (along with a few not so good ones) at several local golf courses, most notably Kenwick Park in Louth, where I occasionally played to the equivalent of a high 20’s handicapper. Not bad for a particularly testing championship course that Kenwick is. Other than that though I have never held a true golf handicap, which I suppose would initially deem me a 28′er. So at least I’ve got some mark that I can aim to improve on.

Just to get me in to good habits (or possibly more to get me out of bad ones) I’ve taken a course of 5 lessons with local Pro Steve Bennet. Prior to my first lesson (Yesterday) I’ve had my first two 9 holes of golf in 10 years at Humberston Park par 3.

First target was a score under 50. By no means impressive, but you need to start small and aim high. My playing partners for the first round were Gaz & Bov and for the 2nd round Bov & Pete.

Here’s how the players stand in handicap order:

BOV – 12
PETE – 15
GAZ – 17
ME – 28*

Whereby the lower your handicap the better player you are. So in theory, Pete’s a better player than Gaz and Bov is the best.
(Thank you to Bov for pointing that out to me!)

The scores for my first 2 rounds were as follows:

Round 1.

1st – Gaz – 40
2nd – Bov – 41
3rd – newts – 46

Pretty pleased with that. Under 50 for my first round and only 5 shots off the master Bov! Even though Gaz beat him so technically, for this round anyway, Gaz was the master.

Round 2.

1st – newts – 38
2nd – Bov – 40
3rd – Pete – 41

Astounded! I know it’s only Humberston par 3 but even so I can say once, if only once, I beat the master SCRATCH!

I’m just looking forward to Sunday morning now when I take on Willie ‘the gut’ Douglas on his home turf of Laceby Manor. Oh what a glorious first time scalp that would be. I’d love to do him scratch but if necessary I can always invoke my 4 shot head start on my 28 handicap over Willie’s 24. And on the other hand if I lose terribly I’ve had a great day out and there’s always the beginner status to fall back on. Either way it’s a win – win situation. Apart from the ceaseless piss taking I’ll get at work if he does beat me. Still, my time will come, just look at the fly fishing results!

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The first of our yearly golf competions between the Ornz, Brian Capindale, Peter Clarke and Mr Bov was held at the lovely Selby golf club today. Not the best course we’ve played but a very well looked after one. The first tee shot had us all shaking at the knees but after four great shots we were on our way. The weather was fine with the odd sunny spell and the rain managed to hold off all day. Having not played much golf due to injury and bad weather, we all supprised ourselves and played well.

Results as follows (the P C Trophy)

1st place with 39 points playing off 14 was Mr Ornz (prize the pete clarke trophy and 20 quid)
2nd place with 36 points playing off 13 was Mr Clarke
Joint 2nd place with 36 points playing off 11 Mr Bov
4th place with 31 points playing off 13 was Mr Capindale

Bov managed to get nearest the pin with a cracking shot just 1.2 mtrs from the pin and won a bottle of whiskey and six golf balls for 2 birdies.

Pete won a lovely cut glass vase for coming 2nd in the guests section

Ornz won a water proof top for coming 3rd in the nrgs members competion

Brian won fuck all

After Bov winning three of the competions last year it was about time we had a new winner

BOV your time is over!!!!!!!

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